I Feel So Guilty! I Cheated On My Long Distance Girlfriend With My Ex Girlfriend Whom I Was Living With

Dear Gist With TBN

My long-distance girlfriend and I met online at the beginning of the year when I was still living with my ex at the time and saving money to move to relocate. It was quite obvious that we liked each other but because I lived with my ex we decided to hold on being exclusive till I moved.

This is to avoid making things awkward and to avoid rushing into things so quickly. The decision became that we will become exclusive and start a relationship after I relocate but then we were only casually dating. Unfortunately things didn’t go as planned and within days , everything changed.

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My long-distance girlfriend was my dream girl and it didn’t take time to deepen our bonds because our emotions were running high and we started to become more invested in each we were other. At one point I even jumped the gun and asked her to make it official with me early but she said no.

We were moving foolishly and quickly at this point and it feels unstable and a bit immature. Then the topic of being exclusive comes up and we each say we won’t pursue anyone else but also that we are not in a relationship in any way which is a bit confusing. But unfortunately, this is what leads me here

I know I am ass hole because I should have focused on what I was doing with the long-distance girlfriend but I did something stupid instead. I ended up sleeping with my ex shortly after we decided to be exclusive . It was a moment of weakness and moral lapse that I will not make excuses for.

At the time l justified it by telling myself you can’t cheat on someone who is not your girlfriend but that feels like a cheap cop out at best. We were not an official couple, we were not boyfriend and girlfriend in any way, but after I slept with my ex I felt so guilty about it I ended up telling my now girlfriend that we needed to stop everything and pursue other people.

I never told her why as my intention is to simply move on and let her have her peace without me in her life. About two weeks later she messaged me, we ended up reconnecting, and a month after that we became official for the first time. I moved out of the living situation with my ex and to a new state but the fact that I did this still haunts me.

I don’t know if it’s cheating since I and my long distance girlfriend weren’t a couple, but I do know that it was a huge breach of trust and just awful. I get a pit in my stomach and feel nauseous when I think about it. It’s been four months now and I’m struggling with whether I should simply keep this to myself or tell her about it.

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We hadn’t started our relationship technically, but using a technicality just feels dirty and wrong. The way I see it, my choices are the following:

Tell her everything and let fate take the wheel.
Break up with her in a gentle manner to save her feelings and to not harm her trust in her future partners.
Keep it to myself.

And finally, I would really like to know all your thoughts on whether or not this constitutes cheating. I know it’s a gray area, but for my own closure’s sake l’d like your opinions. Thanks for reading everyone. I will do better in the future.